We want to be happy, and we want to be free. None of us want to be victims of our circumstances. But even with all the money in the world, we can’t escape ourselves. We can’t escape our thought demons. They are there haunting us wherever we go, even if we go into our better homes, into our better jobs, and into our million-dollar lives. Through my own experiences and the dismantling of ego-driven fears, I learned that there are three keys to happiness: 1. Learn how money works 2. Find freedom from suffering 3. Align your desires with your authentic self.

PART I: Learn how money works and Become Financially Independent or FI 

What does it mean to be financially independent?

When I first learned from Mr. Money Mustache that there is a formula to become FI, my new life was born. Basically, you are financially independent when your passive income can pay for your expenses. Figure out what your yearly expenses are by tracking what you spend on daily, weekly, monthly basis and then times that yearly amount by 25. Once you reach that number, you’re officially Independently Wealthy. This formula has been tested and proven by research from Trinity Studies. 

25 X Yearly Expenses = FI

Money is very simple. We make it complicated by buying more than we can afford, not saving parts of our paychecks, and fearing investing. If we stick to a few basic steps, we can become work optional in less than 15 years. Here are the steps that have worked for me:

STEP 1: Find a job you can stand that pays livable wage. 

Pick a job, any job that you can stand. It doesn’t have to be your dream job (although, it can be), it just must be something you can do relatively well and that you somewhat enjoy. We get bogged down by trying to find the perfect job (I was one of these people) and miss the forest for the trees. The forest being to become Financially Independent so we can become work/career optional and then create our dream jobs without the burden of having to make a living. It doesn’t even have to be the best paying job, just enough to keep up with your expenses and then save 50% or more. 

STEP 2: If you’re starting from Zero, work for about 15 years while saving half or more of your income. The calculations below are borrowed from Mr. Money Mustache. As you can see, if you’re starting from 0 savings, you can become work optional in 15 years or less, depending on your savings rate. If you’re in your early twenties, you can be done by 35 or 40, not the traditional 65. If you already have something saved, you’re even closer. 

STEP 4: Invest your savings in low-fee index funds between total stock market and bond market or your preferred cash equivalent. Allocate your investments based on your risk-tolerance and your age. The younger and riskier you are, the more you should have in your stock portfolio. The older and more conservative you are, the more you can hold in your safer bond/cash portfolio. The rule of thumb is that you should be between 60 to 80 percent stocks and 40 to 20 percent bonds/cash. Any less than that and you won’t be able to take full advantage of the market. My preferred allocations have been between 75-80 stocks (Domestic & International) and the rest in Bonds/Treasuries/Money Market.

STEP 5:  Become work optional. Once you reach your FI number, you can decide whether you want to keep working or not and on what. This is where you can pursue any dream job you want, regardless of what it can or cannot pay you. Or you can continue working at a job you already have or do nothing at all. In this moment in time, I’m still working as a full time teacher but getting closer and closer to FI.

PART II: Find Freedom from Suffering

Once we got the money figured out, the next part in the pursuit of happiness is to find freedom from suffering. Some might argue this should be the first part, but according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, survival comes first. Then, we can focus on freeing our minds from suffering. If we don’t look at our thoughts and emotions, those underlying impulses driving our desires, then we will unconsciously use money and spending to avoid what’s actually bothering us.

So, how do we find freedom from suffering?

According to Jed McKenna, we have to see through emotionally-driven wrong-knowing. Beliefs in themselves are just passing thoughts, plain vanilla mind activity that we hardly notice. What gives our beliefs any power at all is the charge of emotion. Emotions are the glue that hold wrong-knowing together because they feel so heavy, so real, so intense. We then act and react in the world based on these emotionally-charged beliefs that don’t actually relate to reality. 

In fact, thoughts that endlessly pass through our minds have nothing to do with anything, but we create our whole lives based on them. Because we do this, we tend to make reactive decisions and suffer unnecessarily. Once we see that thoughts are just a passing phenomenon, this noticing will start to work its magic and release us from the grip of emotionally-charged wrong-knowing.

So, how do we work with our thoughts and emotions? I’ve tried many practices, including meditation and various mindfulness practices, but the best way I found was to simply face and allow what’s already happening. I created the following steps based on Jed McKenna‘s process of Autolysis and Michael Singer’s Untethered Soul.

STEP 1: Get quiet & relax into your body. You can scan your body with mindfulness and breath. Pay attention to body sensations instead of what your mind is telling you. You can also tune in to the sounds around you.

STEP 2: Then, write down or speak into your voice notes everything that irks you to the smallest of detail. If nothing is irking you right now, just start writing or speaking anyway. You can do it in a journal fashion, describing your day or you can write/describe in story or song form. Just write or speak. Anything. At some point, things that irk you will start to come up. If writing, speaking, or listening for uncomfortable things is too difficult, just wait for the time when something starts bothering you. Sooner or later, at some point in your day or week, something will come up. That’s your moment.

STEP 3: Don’t turn away. The initial urge might be to turn away from what’s coming up because it feels uncomfortable. I encourage you to instead turn toward what is coming up. Don’t judge it, don’t analyze it, just see it and feel it. You might experience emotions so strong that you may want to distract yourself, run, or even throw up. I will again urge you to stay with it. If it gets too intense, stop and go for a walk or do something else that’s soothing. Come back when you feel ready. 

STEP 4: Forgive and let go. As things come up, the noticing itself will automatically lend itself to forgiveness of yourself and your trespassers. Write letters if you need to. (No, you don’t have to send them). The letting go also happens on its own. You don’t have to try and let go. Just allow whatever arises to come and flow through you without thinking about it, without trying to fix it, or compensating with substances and distractions. 

STEP 5: Repeat as needed until thoughts and emotions are nothing but weather patterns on an otherwise clear, blue sky.

Note: These steps are deceptively simple, but could give rise to PTSD, unseen before emotions and realizations. Feel free to consult a professional if things get too intense. Once you have worked through trauma, etc, come back to this exercise. 

PART III: Align your desires with your authentic self

Once we got our basic needs covered and our thought-based emotional patterns cleansed, then we can finally create the life we want.

Many of us don’t really know what we want. But it’s easy to see what we’re telling the world we want because it’s all those things that we’re doing. If we’re spending most of our time in a job we hate, with people we don’t connect with, or doing things for other reasons besides joy, then we better take another look at our authentic desires.

Unfortunately, many things that we do or think we want are compensatory behaviors for unseen beliefs that we avoid feeling all the way through. Hence, it’s important to do Part 2 first. You can’t get to your true desires without seeing through all those false ones.

Why is it important to do what it is we think we want?

By doing and acting on things we think we want, will show us what we truly want. It doesn’t take long after trying that climbing gym or traveling non-stop to know if this is what we truly want. But sometimes we won’t know unless we do it, unless we start walking toward what we think we want. Keeping things at fantasy level can make them sound more appealing than they might be in real life. And if fantasizing is your thing, then keep doing that until it’s no longer satisfying.

Align with your natural desires…

Aligning just means that it’s more optimal to work with yourself than against. If you’re the kind of person who can’t sit still, then work with that. Don’t do activities that will force you to be in one place unless you’re doing it as a challenge, and you’re the kind of a person who enjoys challenging yourself in that way. Put yourself in situations, jobs, and opportunities that utilize your already-natural tendencies. Don’t fight your natural rhythms. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try new things; it just means go with the flow of yourself and your circumstances as they come to you versus swimming against them.  

Understanding how to align with your natural desires will help you co-create with life rather than against it. When we live life absent-mindedly, those unseen and ingrained beliefs will run your life, causing you to compensate and eventually burnout.  

In summary, the recipe for inner and outer freedom = use simple numbers to free yourself financially, free yourself from unnecessary suffering, and then do what you truly desire. 

Feel free to share in comments if you have tried any of the steps described above and what were the results…