I put on Vivaldi (13 Cello Concertos) in the background. I find that eating, as well as doing activities on the computer goes down well with classical music for its companion. Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird is staring at me from my desk, patiently waiting my return. I welcome it. I also re-started Steve Martin’s Shopgirl, yet again, because it puts me in a good mood.

In fact, words put me in a good mood. Whether these words are written by me here or someone else in a book or in a song or prose, words sing to me. I live through infinite worlds through words. Even repeated words are each moment re-created. Words give me a tingling feeling. I respond A-ha to them. The ground of Being opens up more when words get put down on paper.

            Sure, I don’t always feel sprightly, but just like with exercise, fingers can exercise on the keyboard. I can take dictation. Suddenly everything is coming together—my task, my purpose, my daily activities. I can ask myself, Did I write today? Did I strum on the guitar today, even if it’s just a strum? 

            Why these things? Because they are an opening. They give a day structure, a life purpose. And perhaps a blog or two will come out of it. In the Non Duo blog I can write about music, the process of making music. Just that suggestion gave me a boost to look at that website and consider changing the title on one of the articles I wrote. I’m going to sleep on it for now. Besides, my focus is here right now.

            The background music turns directions into a more solemn mood. I see Fall, yellow leaves on the trees lining a long road. Leaves are falling. Trees and forests to both sides of the road. Light is peeking through. The yellow is even more yellow because of sunlight. 

            The concerto switched to an upbeat movement. The order of these movements makes the music sound bipolar. This particular upbeat piece has a purpose. It knows where it’s going and it’s going to get there. It’s excited to be on this journey. It looks straight ahead with a determined look in its eyes and with its hand on the belt, as if ready to pull out a sword any moment and strike whatever obstacle lays ahead. 

            Now the movement turns dramatic. Perhaps met with an unforeseen obstacle, but doesn’t strike me as anything that can’t be handled. See the melodrama it says. Much ado about nothing. It pretends to be about something important, but its purpose is to distract from the set goal. When it’s over, you wonder why you believed it in the first place.

            The movement now feels like it’s getting ready for bed. It’s a little sad that the day is over, but it has acquired many insights throughout the day. It realized how important surrender is. Some things simply cannot be changed or be done anything about. 

            That was a short piece. The music picked up again, but not in the way it had done before. Everything is okay it says. Relax into the groove. It’s interesting how my words found more space once I chose to double space them, concurrently, so did my insides. That’s what this piece feels like—a bit more space. See the bigger picture, loosen the grip. 

            The happy-go-lucky movement comes on. People are dancing, socializing. It could be a dream state. Images flying around like butterflies. Nothing to worry about. We’re all children playing in the garden. Be as lost as you want to be. Just remember that deep sleep is next. Or don’t try to remember. It’ll take you whether you’re aware of it or not. 

            I wait in the wonder of the next piece. Lo and behold, it’s deep and slow. It’s like a parent who comes up to the child and takes his hand. The child is wary, a bit defiant, but mostly trustful that the parent means no harm as it leads it up the stairs to the bedchambers. 

            That was quick. The child can’t even remember how and when it fell asleep and suddenly it’s morning again. The child is a bit anxious about the new day, but it’s also excited. It puts its feet down on the ground and immediately feels more grounded. It goes to the window and looks outside. All is well.